Archive for Transportation
Caring and Traveling with an Elderly Parent
Dr. Alexander Fiuza's Family
By Alexander Fiuza, PhD
For many of us summer vacation means traveling with spouses and children, but for some of us it means traveling with our elderly parents. That’s what this year’s vacation was all about for me.
My father, Serafin Fiuza, now eighty-one years of age, dreamed about the day that he could return to his native Orense, in Galicia Spain. On many occasions he mentioned to me his desire to see his homeland one more time. Thoughts of his childhood, family life and friends left behind during the European Civil Wars brought back feelings of nostalgia. And, he faced his own immortality with the loss of his own family members over the years, leaving him to be the only family member living in the United States. This only fueled his desire to return at least one more time to visit his only living relative, Ramona Fiuza, his younger sister.
The siblings were separated at a young age and put onto ships that were destined to arrive to Cuba in hopes for a better life. My grandfather and his eleven brothers and sisters set sail in December of 1931 destined for this new life. Together with his wife and two of their four children, one of which was my father, they arrived in Havana, Cuba. His two other siblings went aboard another ship which arrived in Buenos Aires, Argentina. These two siblings, Generoso Fiuza and Dolores Fiuza, would not see my father and his other siblings until the early 1970’s, when they all came to gather in Miami, Florida for a family reunion. I still remember the emotions displayed and shared by all of our family members. Although I was young at the time, I still get emotional over the memories.
Encouraging Loved Ones to Give Up The Keys
For many who are beginning the process of aging, the ability to drive can be the first that needs to be scaled back to ensure safety. Since driving requires physical ability, quick reaction times, and directional planning, there are many different reasons that an elder may no longer be physically capable of driving. Worst of all, it’s usually the biggest detriment to the elder’s sense of independence, requiring them to always plan appointments or simple trips to the grocery store around a spouse or adult child’s schedule. Convincing a loved one that they are putting themselves and others in danger if they continue to drive must be handled delicately to ensure that they will take the advice to heart.
The Alzheimer’s Reading Room posted a terrific article and Podcast with Carole Larkin, a geriatric care manager who specializes in dementia, being interviewed by Max Wallack, advising caregivers on how to carefully explain that they should stop driving. Larkin gives tips on how to frame your conversation to ensure that the loved one is not hurt by the accusation that they are no longer capable of such a high level of functioning, but rather to show concern for their safety. She also explains what options are available if the loved one is still resisting giving up the keys.
Readers: Have you had this conversation with a loved one? What techniques worked? Did you have to resort to legal methods to get your loved one to stop driving? Tell us in the comments!